The New Me: Finding Myself in the Chaos of Motherhood

“Who Am I Now?”

The other day, during one of my mama chats, a fellow mama said something that struck me deeply. She shared how she was struggling to figure out how to be the new her — how to be herself and a mother at the same time. That simple truth stayed with me.

Because, honestly? I get it.

Becoming a mother isn’t just about taking care of a baby. It’s a total identity shift. It’s letting go of who you were and trying to find your voice again in a whole new world — one filled with love, doubt, exhaustion, and endless responsibility.
It’s a complete transformation — you don’t just have a baby… you are reborn too.

Trusting My Gut (Even When It’s Not Popular)

Let’s talk weaning.

In the UK, Baby-Led Weaning (BLW) is super popular. But after a terrifying choking incident with Philip, I knew it wasn’t right for us. I had to trust my gut. I’ve chosen to prepare purées for him from scratch — fresh, every single day. Three meals a day. I don’t freeze them, and I don’t buy pre-packaged brands.

It’s not the “popular” way, but it’s our way.

I mentioned this at our 9–12 month health visitor appointment a few days ago (which honestly felt like a tick-box exercise — quite useless, in my opinion), and the look I got? Disbelief. Disapproval. Judgment. Even though she tried to keep a “neutral” expression on her face.

Then she asked if Philip sleeps well. I told her the truth: no, not really. He’s never been a great sleeper, and we co-sleep. I feed him to sleep. It works for us.
She wrote it all down with a smirk and gave me that look — the one that questions whether you’re doing it “right.”

But guess what? Philip is in the 50th percentile for weight and the 91st for height. And he’s hit all of his milestones. So yes, I must be doing something right.

“Trusting your instincts as a mom can feel lonely—but it’s one of the bravest things you’ll ever do.”

Exhausted and In Love

Some days, I’m so drained I fall asleep with Philip at 7:30 p.m., emotionally and physically exhausted.

Other days, I look into his curious little eyes, and somehow — somehow — I find energy I didn’t know I had. It’s bizarre. It’s beautiful. It’s love in its purest form.

I’ve swapped my dressy clothes for Sweaty Betty leggings and a ponytail. My coffee is always cold. Laundry is never-ending.
Sometimes even showering doesn’t make the to-do list. My “me time” is when Philip naps in my arms and I get half an hour of silence to watch Netflix on mute, reading subtitles while finishing my cold coffee.

But I wouldn’t trade it for the world.

My Separation Anxiety

My maternity leave ends in a few months, and honestly, I feel sick to my stomach at the thought of it. Philip is signed up for a great nursery, but I can’t imagine leaving him there.
The idea of trusting someone else — anyone else — is too much for me. He is so attached to me, as I am to him.

A nanny might feel slightly better, but even then… she’s still a stranger.

I know I probably have trust issues, but right now, the only people I can imagine leaving Philip with are my husband and my parents.

In the future, things might change — but this is how I feel now, and I’m not apologising for it.

Before Philip, it was just my husband and me — date nights, spontaneous getaways, sleeping in on weekends. And while I remember that life, I don’t miss it.
I feel like I’ve been reborn. I’ve been promoted to a role I didn’t know I was meant for. Being a mom has given my life deep, powerful meaning.

“Some call it overprotective—I call it being a mom.”

A Past That Still Hurts

In September 2023, I lost a baby at 21 weeks pregnant.

I’ll write about it at some point in the future — it was the most painful thing I’ve ever experienced. That grief made me pray harder than I ever have for a healthy, thriving, happy baby.

And now that God has answered my prayers and I have Philip, I would do anything for him. Absolutely anything.

Postpartum: Death, Rebirth, and Everything in Between

Postpartum is no joke. No wonder some cultures treat the new mother as someone who must be nurtured and protected — in China, for example, they give mothers 100 days to recover.

And it makes sense. Because this isn’t just recovery… it’s rebirth.

I feel like I’ve received a promotion to a new life — a life filled with joy, yes — but also with a never-ending sense of responsibility.

I constantly ask myself:
Am I doing enough? Could I do better?

Sometimes, I cry for no reason other than needing a release. That’s healthy. That’s human. That’s motherhood.

Your marriage shifts too. It has to. This season is about surviving some days, thriving on others. The dynamic changes. Your priorities change.
And sometimes, it takes time to find your rhythm again — as a couple, as individuals, as parents.

That’s normal. That’s okay.

Friendships change too. Some people disappear. Some friendships fade. And in their place, new ones form — with people who understand when you cancel plans because of nap schedules or want to talk about teething and sleep regressions instead of office gossip.

And through it all, I’ve found my voice.
I’ve found my purpose.
I’ve found me.

This Is Why I Created Mama Delight

That’s the heart behind Mama Delight — I started this blog because I wanted a place to be real. A space to talk about the beauty and the mess. Because motherhood isn’t all rainbows and butterflies.

Some days are magical.
Some days are heavy.
Most days are both.

And that’s okay.

So to the mama still trying to figure out who she is now — you’re not alone.
You are growing, evolving, becoming. It’s okay to feel overwhelmed. It’s okay to cry. It’s okay to miss who you were and still be proud of who you’re becoming.

Because this version of you — the one showing up every day, tired but determined?
She’s doing an amazing job.

And I promise — you’re exactly where you’re meant to be.

“Motherhood doesn’t take away who you are — it reveals who you’re meant to be.”